Conversion for Dummies

Many of us want to convert people to what WE believe. If we feel strongly about some moral point, we usually wish other people would agree. Having had some Experience With Christianity, I know all about this--it's called evangelizing. ;-) Here's my approach to evangelizing, no matter what the topic is (my faves being the usual granola suspects... animal rights, feminism, enviro, poverty, etc.)

Some sermon-giving type I heard, once compared evangelizing with a chain. Let's say you add a link to the chain leading someone to believe in God: If you're the first link, you may never be around to see the last one, to see it Happen. You might be a middle link. You might be near the end, or you might provide that final nudge.

So the first step is figuring out where the person is on this issue. An atheist has, say, no links. So does that person whose all "I looove the meat, and fuck the animals, dude, they is dumb beasts and I say SCREW them ho ho ho." You get the idea. You shouldn't see this as a Value thing, either; that is to say, that having no links means the person is evil. Which brings us to point two...

You not only need to know where they stand in relation to your issue, but you need to understand Them. Who is this person, why do they believe what they believe, how did they get to this point, what philosophical idea underpin their outlook, etc. You can't find this stuff out if you're labeling someone, assuming you already know, judging them etc. You have to listen, you have to have an open mind; you ask questions, you get to know the person over time. Eventually you may have an idea not only of how many links they have, re said issue, but why.

That's when you might be able to influence someone. I'm talking about a sincere influence, by the way; I'm talking about convincing someone of a new idea, at a deep level. Railroading is not the same. You can bash someone down with logical arguments, but it's rare that they are really agreeing with you in the end; instead they're just frustrated, shut down, powerless, and eager to come across any future reason why you're wrong. Or maybe the person is easy to influence, or looks up to you, or wants to sleep with you--then they might agree with everything you say. That won't last forever either. No, no, the hope is to really get someone thinking.

Now think about human nature, think about what you know of the person, and you can devise an approach. Most people don't like to be put on the defensive; they like to feel listened to and respected; people have egos, they don't want to be made to look stupid; they like to feel safe. You have to keep these things in mind when trying to convince them of your beliefs--you have to introduce small, digestible ideas.

You'll meet the occasional person who likes to debate, and you can be more straight-forward with them, use all your Logic! and Keen Intellect! But they have egos too... so you have to listen to their arguments, and be willing to agree when, well, they're right. If they're out-arguing you, and you don't admit it, then you'll lose their respect and any chance of conversion.

All of this is in relation to their position on the chain. With an atheist, probably the only message you want to get across is: not all Christians/vegans/feminists/eco-folk/etc. are crazy. You only want to get as far as leaving a good taste in their mouths. But with someone at the end of the chain, you can pretty much be yourself. For example, we once had a guy come work at my store who looked like Tom Cruise, and was an animal activist. He didn't work much, but he leapt about enthusiastically like Tom Cruise, and preached about the evils of dairy.

With my friend who was animal-compassionate and interested in ethics, he got a hearing. He may have influenced him in the direction of vegetarianism, maybe got him to read John Robbins--I don't remember exactly. To me, who was vegetarian and knowing I should go vegan, he was my last link. I was able to ask him advice on food replacements etc., which allowed me to finally decide--yes, tis time. To the guy in magazines, Tom Cruise was just self-righteous and obnoxious. Magazines guy was a nice normal meat-eating sort, and I'm sure he didn't hate animals; but Vegan Boy's approach was so in-your-face, that Magazine Guy told me it made him want to run out and eat MORE meat. This was poor evangelism. This kind of evangelism only work on those ready to be converted; but for those on the low end of the link chain, it will likely have the opposite effect.

So there you have it. T-Scone's Patented How to Make Converts and Influence People. I have no idea if I've had any effect myself, over the years; but I think, over all, I haven't made anyone hate feminists/vegans/Christians/etc. more.

I have to go now, I'm getting a massive headache.